Where I’m Stuck
What
do you want to change in your life? Do
you want to make a change in behavior or do you want to make a change in how you
feel about certain things?
The following offers key elements of the process and in
no way is complete, but is designed to give you a good frame of reference for
how Positive Thinking Way® will
work for you.
There are common areas where you can be stuck
-
Procrastination
-
Perfectionism
-
Overwhelm
-
Not Attracting
Healthy Relationships
-
Losing Your
Job Repeatedly
-
Something
You’re Compelled to Do That Consistently Gives You a Feeling of Being
“Good Enough,” “Important,” or “Worthwhile.”
(a question to ask
yourself is, “Do I have the freedom to choose to do it or not?”).
-
Always Acting
a Certain Way in Certain Circumstances
-
Not Performing
As You Would Like To in Certain Circumstances
A pattern has both a behavioral and emotional component.
It is a repeated behavior that we are dissatisfied with or want to change
and a feeling or emotion ―
or the absence of these. In
short, it is having or not having what one wants or not wanting what shows up.
Sound like you? Get
started now. Click
Here
Undesirable
emotions you may have: anger, fear,
guilt, nervousness, terror, apprehension, shame, shyness…
Whenever I make a mistake I feel…
Whenever others are angry with me I feel…
Whenever I’m rejected I feel…
Whenever I make decisions I feel…
Whenever I’m not doing what others want me to do I feel…
Whenever I don’t do things well I feel…
Whenever I’m in a group of people I feel…
Whenever I feel dependant on others I feel…
Whenever I’m treated unfairly or unjustly accused I feel…
Whenever I start to work on my project I feel…
Whenever I have to speak in front of groups I feel…
etc.
Fear and emotions related to fear are always due to a
perceived threat to your survival. Anger
and emotions related to anger are always about a feeling of powerlessness.**
There are a finite number of beliefs under
each pattern
Every pattern of behavior has beliefs that underlie them.
This work over the past twenty years has identified a finite number of
beliefs for every pattern. For fear
of public speaking there are only 15 beliefs that cause the pattern.
For others it could be more. However,
once a belief is gone, it no longer exists in the same form under other
patterns. For example, here are a
few of the beliefs for some of the patterns mentioned above:
Procrastination:
“I’m not good enough,” “I’m not capable,” “Nothing I do is good enough,”
“I don’t have what it takes,”
“If I fail I’ll be rejected,” “Failure and mistakes are bad.”
Perfectionism: “No matter what I do, it will
never be good enough,” “I’m
not good enough,” If I fail it will mean people won’t like me,”
“If I make a mistake I’ll be rejected.”
Overwhelm: “If
I don’t take care of myself, no one will,” “I have to be responsible,”
“No one can do it as well as me,”
“I’m not capable,” “Nothing
I do is good enough.”
Not everyone has the exact same patterns and beliefs, and
even reading about them may sound silly, but at a core level, if you find
yourself stuck in these areas, it’s likely you have these and other limiting
beliefs.
Ready to get started?
Click Here
Three categories of patterns and beliefs:
There are three main categories of patterns and beliefs
which are one’s having to do with your core Self
Esteem (emotional or behavioral) - i.e. “I procrastinate on writing my
book,” because one of your beliefs is “I’m not good enough,” your Survival
Strategies, what you feel compelled to do
to keep your beliefs in place, i.e. “Whenever I’m in public restrooms
I wash down the counters,” to keep in place at least one of your beliefs, that
is, “What makes me good enough is cleaning up whenever there’s a mess,“
and Existential referring to life in general.
A pattern such as having to work hard for good things to come to you
would follow the belief, i.e. “Life
is hard.”
The source of your beliefs:
Core self-esteem
beliefs typically come from our childhood experiences at home with our parents,
our first role models. This program
doesn’t encourage any blame, but merely helps you to identify a specific or
general sense of your early experience that can account for you first formation
of your belief.
An example with the belief, “I’m not good
enough,” could have the source of your parents criticizing you all the time
or comparing you to siblings or others.
Survival strategy beliefs typically come
from your early childhood experiences and a feeling that you need to do
something to be good enough, capable, etc.
You didn’t get the recognition, approval or acceptance earlier in life,
so you found something to do that would give you that approval, recognition or
satisfaction. It felt as if your
survival depended on it.
An example would be the belief, “What makes me
okay is doing things perfectly.”
Existential beliefs can arise as a child,
for example if your parents went around closing windows and yelling at you to
turn off lights, you might have felt, “Money is scarce.”
But they often come from adult life too.
“Public speaking is scary,” is one such
belief where the experience of speaking to others publicly and having it not
go well could contribute to you forming this belief.
Want to quickly eliminate your limiting patterns now?
Click Here
You Can Be Rid of Undesirable Patterns and Beliefs
You will meet with your Coach-Facilitator, Laurie
Sheppard, in person or by phone for a minimum of three 75-minute sessions.
Together you’ll be able to gauge how soon you will break up your tired
patterns. As that happens, at first
you may notice only subtle feelings or changes and you quickly realize you are
simply not doing or you are now doing,
that which was difficult before.
Whatever the pattern or belief, it can be quickly
identified and eliminated so that you have a new freedom with the choices you
make. They will not necessarily be
more or even different choices, but you will have an entirely new relationship
with the activity you wish to do and your feelings about it.
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